My Boring Blog

2010-07-09T20:38:00.000-07:00

VnP IMAC submission

2008-11-14T03:19:00.000-08:00

This is the picture of the clothes used in the flats below.

-FLATS-

The front of the bat winged sleeves shirt.

The back of the bat winged sleeves shirt.

The front of the pants.

The back of the pants.

-Croqui designs-

-Croqui texture designs-

Joel is hiding behind a bowl of hair

2008-10-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Enough of Mourning over YSL's death. Snap out of it Joel! Time to update my sad blog! Thats something my cousin told me to do months ago, but yet i do not have the time/mood to. haha!
Anyway ever since YSL came out with their AW collection i was so intriged by their hair and told myself that i wanted it. It was only recently that i was flipping through Style magazine that i just went to Kent, my hair stylist, to get it done. Walked into class today with everyone's eyes and mouth opened wide, sounds absurd, but it is true. So here it goes...

YSL's AW collection

Adjusting my hair to get the shape i want and see if my face can pull that off.

The horror after i've got it done. i just wanna laugh, laugh it off.

Oh look! What i have done to make a fool of everyone... i mean a fool of myself, and yeah fool everyone that i am a GIRL! Seems like i just have got to go ANDRO!! OMG...

Look! i've just walked out of Chicago's Broadway! (Btw the mole over there at the side of my mouth is not a mole, but a naturally occured ...pimple!)

This is the serious world. Are you serious?

Don't mess with me or ...DIE...

Goodbye YSL

2008-06-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

Yves Saint Laurent's Memorial Service

Parisians Mourn the Designer

June 5, 2008 – Fashion legend Yves Saint Laurent was laid to rest in Paris today. Among the mourners who gathered at the Église Saint-Roch, near the Louvre, were French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (in a black trouser suit, a tribute to a designer who was an early champion of the style); Pierre Bergé, Saint Laurent's longtime business partner; YSL muses Catherine Deneuve and Inès de la Fressange; and designers such as John Galliano, Valentino, Vivienne Westwood, and Kenzo. The real tribute to the great designer's influence, though, may have been the more than 1,000 people who gathered in the street outside the church to pay their last respects.

And here are some pictures of the designers who attended.

Christian and Françoise Lacroix.

Claudia Schiffer.

John Galliano.

Vivienne Westwood and her husband, Andreas Kronthaler.

Catherine Deneuve.

(Quoted and copywrited from style.com)

The red dot

2008-05-05T01:44:00.000-07:00

Red dot museum on Sat, 3/05/08, was fantastic. It was planned by the young, yong sisters and it was about time to let our eyes be amused by the creations of Singaporeans by Singaporeans.It is our first time and we did have a whole lot of fun in there. I met many aspiring designers with works that were rather interesting. They were interesting, but not out of the ordinary as i expected. But as a whole it was good, you guys should go have a look if you have time.

Love the red parasol shading us from the peaking sun.

Pacific Coffee. I should say sorry and thank you to the barista for enduring bitchy me.

Hugging the doughnut for dear life like a life buoy(boy).

Caught in the momment.

Kaylene and Pearlene, good friends i had for a long freaking 13 years. Thats almost all my life, gosh!

Paparazzi snap shot.

Swift move Kaylene! Campaign model for XXX shampoo.
As for me, i'll be a angry celebrity.

I shall regain my composure and let you snap all you want.Do u think i care?

I do care... actually...

(Photos are contributed by Pearlene, Kaylene and me. Thank you.)

I want to thank Pearlene and Kaylene for the leather coin pouch present that would benefit me lots. By the way! My birthday is on 19th May people! Yeah, and i bought that pandant for myself, so you guys should get me a little something. haha! Thank you for the Sat afternoon and all the momments we spend together. Haha... thank you, thank you, thank you.

The battle of the high street and the high fashion.

2008-05-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

It was the last day of school and we've collected all our works from school.

We were standing at the edge of Orchard station, trying to bring out some edginess to our pictures.
Playing with the modes of my low batt flashing cam.Suprising ourselves with the outcomes and tribulations.

Hwee Khim(My new found friend!), Xin Ning, Syahid and me.

Queing to the washroom, is it my turn yet?

Battle of the high fashion and the high street. I shall let you decide who fits into the criteria.

What's with the hand sign thing? Everyone is doing it.

Fieeeeeerce!

Moonlight Shadow

2008-03-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

I would just NEVER get bored listening to this song over and over and over again.=j I've kind of grew up lisstening to the groove coverage version, but i like how country could sound great with that touch of mysterious dark feeling. I just love the art direction of this whole MV. Abosolutely when the row of butlers shifted when they were holding candle stands in their hands.Although the clothes could look a little dated, they are BACK! The polos and that straw hat thing...

Getting ready...

2008-02-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

Work is piling up and here comes a holiday break, the Chinese New year, and it is destroying the whole mood of doing work. Gosh! I have still got lots more to work on.

Chinese New year is coming in two days and no I am not happy about it. I have to get my room cleared up with the spring-cleaning and to put my work away for a few days, and that would create a whole new lot of problems to get it all started all over again. I just hate it when pauses and breaks to happen when I have just gotten the hang of something, which I don’t exactly love to do. Just hate it…

The new-year clothes are another problem, I did not have sufficient time to work on my shopping and my plan of going monochrome went down the drain. I planned to go all 1940s with monochrome and to break it all up with shocking red accessories like rosettes, bow ties, belts and stuff. Sounds pretty gay huh?

It is very much depressing walking down Bugis street everyday, looking at what ghetto people would be wearing this spring. Depressing because most of their new arrivals could be found in my wardrobe, and this means that I have to move on.

‘A whole new set of wardrobe apparels Ronny!’

It’s really sad to see PROUD fashion mistakes roaming about the streets, destroying the whole style of fashion. It’s not to say that I don’t have my mistakes, but heavy padded sport shoes do not go with skinny jeans. And people with big bulging thighs just cannot wear skinny jeans. Please do not time travel and mix the different retro decades together, like colour blocking with vintage.

I’m just really frustrated looking at the local scene. Sometimes I secretly wished that ghetto people should just remain how they are and not get their style ideas from the runways.

Departure

2008-01-31T02:06:00.000-08:00

This what we did in school today.

My teeth looks yellow in contrast to my skin. Eww!

Thats Melisa.=j

And Adriel...

Finally! The real me. I just could not recognise myself in that mime outfit. I missed my hair, my skin tone, my lips, my eyes...

Crazy idea.

2008-01-25T00:59:00.000-08:00

Dior Homme spring summer 07.

It was through much persuasion that my mum was trying to convince me to trim down my hair, she was praising how short spiky hair look so great on those models. Those short spikes had a touch of bleached highlights and that was why it was so amazing. And after much thought I was thinking using the colour texture of the quills from the porcupine as the colour of my hair and how great it would be that I get straight bangs. She did not like the idea I pitched to her, but it's fine as I knew bangs would never work on me. But oh well, this was what I think fashion might be moving to, ANIMAL-ISM.

(photos obtained from flicker and men.style.com)

The beginning of a long journey...

2008-01-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

This was a present from Qinpei who came back from Taiwan. Yay! 'A tribal alluminium pandent which will not rust even in the hot spring' quoted from the auntie seller.

TCC's 3 ice cream flavoured Tiramisu cake and some mango thing going on. This was shared with Sylvia, Qinpei, Gracie and I.

With a pair of shoes and a leather bag, i'm all ready for school.

For the first time in my life i went to Haji lane and Arab street to find out what a amazing location it was.

This is not a virtual reatity game...

...but a roof of some shopping center next to Marina square. It was during foundation when we needed to do our external drawing that i saw this structure but i just don't have my camera with me all this while.

The end of times is not really near nor is it that far way, are you ready for it?

This was a 1mX1m self portrait in white denim and black velvet.I completed it in 3 sleepless nights with the other school assignments going on par.

This looks like I had such an eventful week right? There are so many things going on this week that I guess there would be even more work coming up. School has officially started for 1 week and this worries me, as I have not had enough sleep. As you may have read earlier, I had sacrificed 3 nights of sleep for that portrait of mine and realized that in the end the portrait would just be a part of a project and would not be counted as one.

This week was rather crazy, as the class I had earlier in the 1st semester was disbanded and all my classmates were scattered like sand all over the other classes. Which means that I would be in a new class meeting a class full of new faces, making new friends and the list goes on. But anyway it is the 5th day today and people like Alexius, Ying ying and Zarah were from my previous class so I guess it is not that bad after all.

I'm feeling really tired and i don't know what to write. Guess i would just come back another day to post more stuff up.

Im back!

2008-01-09T01:59:00.000-08:00

It’s back to school again! Argh! Holidays are over in a glimpse, and it is back to the hectic life of a fashion student. Many things have come and gone, it’s the New Year now and its time for me to start renew.

I left my previous job as sales assistant and now I’m as free as I can be. I have been resting at home for about a week now and I am all ready for the upcoming challenges. I have given a thought over what happened in the past year, and I just hope mistakes in the past would not repeat itself although I’m sure some how it will come back to haunt me.

Life is like a rocky road and at times we jus have got to leap across the hurdle. It is so hard when we have given our best but the results were just not pleasant.

Enough of the sad stuff, and here is something to change the mood...

By the way this is not Icing Sugar but Skin food’s loose powder.

Pearlene and I got bored at the Mc Café in Yishun and this was what we’ve done.

Yvonne’s Christmas present for me! Yay!

Monster me...

2007-12-30T00:51:00.000-08:00

So what was i up to for the last few weeks. I was busy with Barbara's set up in her newly done up classroom, and that was why i was not online last week. For the past few weeks i understood more and more about myself. I guess this was what i wanted to know and no one told me about myself. I guess i'am going crazy with my current job due to the lack of systems in their institution. It is just kind of sad for people who work in institutions like these. I found that i am a real hard person to deal with, and it is a approach that is important. Actually why am i writing up so many things about myself here? And maybe soon people might just use my blog entries against me. Alright, i might just be thinking too much and that i am over reacting. But i guess it is possible...

I feel that i am such a easy push over, easily bullied by customers and stuff. Everything is just crazy when the saying goes that "Customers are always right" and i would add on to say that "So are your boss-es". Living in crazy conditions have kind of given up my first love, my habit of watching tv. Working in such long shifts for 6 months has allowed me to forget about tv serials and find them stupid when i watch them in parts and pieces.

School is reopening soon and i hope iam ready for the upcoming splash, no waterfall of workload. I just hope i do not get drowned.

What else should i update about? I have been thinking alot about how to improve myself and i guess the Joel everyone knows is changing again. I guess i'm becoming more and more like a monster, just that not many people sees it... And if you do, my wish for you is the best of luck.
Till i'm back again, stay tune for the next metamorphosis of Joel, the mysterious. Mwahahahaha

MYLENE FARMER(je te rends ton amour)

2007-12-30T00:48:00.000-08:00

MYLENE FARMER(je te rends ton amour)
ä¸?ä¼ äººï¼? bobbu

Although i don't understand a word she is singing. I love this Music video.

I'm back for now...

2007-12-15T00:56:00.000-08:00

This is gonna be short i guess as i've only got 3 mins in a cyber cafe. It's been a long long time ever since i was back on the cyber world. This time wouldn't be different either. I have been busy with my resubmission projects and i havn't bben sleeping well for the past week, like is rather packed and racked i should say.

Reuben passed away, i don't really know him, but i have one regret. He was in the same school as me in the primary school and i never spoke to him. Even till recently that i spotted him in Wisma, in church and we just exchanged glances. I guess he would have been a real good person to talk to but it is just too late.I guess this teaches me that i should open up and mix around with people i seldom talk to.

Well, as for now, i'll be back to slogging my life to retail. Good bye.

Narcissistic Me

2007-11-23T01:08:00.000-08:00

Yay! I am back! It's been crazy months since I am currently done with the first term of the second year in LASALLE. I have just turned in all my works for my term and it was not completed. Damn! But as for now I am trying to enjoy what I have got and probably work it out in my reassessment? I wonder if there would be any...

My red size 10 lady's shirt.

These is the graveyard of needles.

The only thing I have finished was my size 10 lady’s shirt and my pattern drafting. Sad huh? Wonder why am I still posting it up so proudly. I spend many weeks on that shirt, and it is killing me. Unpicked and stitched and unpicked again. Back tag and machine, pinning and pricking. This is just killing me. In future I am sure I will hire a sewer. Any takers?

I think I am driving myself into depression. Everything is just not working out right and the next thing I know might be me hearing voices calling out Legion.

I am getting back to work again, and I do not even know what my schedule for next week would be. I hope it would be pack enough to kill me and I will just get an apple notebook for myself. I know it is a crazy idea, but I guess I have no other choice.

So what is up with me? I’ve been feeling very stress lately and I’m going up the wall, and maybe reaching the roof soon.

I need to distress! Clubbing anyone?

Halloween...

2007-10-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

Halloween was last night but I was just too tired to go out. I was a club virgin and Saturday was my first night out to clubs. Rachelle and I went club hopping from thumper to MOS (didn’t make it through without costume) to thumper again and Zouk was the last stop.

Everyone everywhere was in their most outrage costume from makeup-badly-done-Chinese-princesses to the living dead mummies. Thumper was different as everyone was in their semi formal attire except the serving boys and the bartenders. The bartenders were smeared with red face paint in their devilish head band and the serving boys were in slave meets gladiator and turning into angel like costumes.

The night there was just crazy, not knowing how to dance I was just drinking off Rachelle’s bill and going crazy in the midst of her model friends. Come to think of it I drank 4 Vodka shots and 2 Vodka cranberries, I did not know how drunk I was until I knocked off in the cab like twice however I was still able to give directions to the driver to get me home.

When I got changed I was red like a pomegranate, no wonder Rachelle kept asking me if I was drunk. That was my first clubbing experience and I am sure there would be a next time, it is just when…Oh well I’ve got to go.

A story about love.

2007-10-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

OMG! You guys should look at this. This is a short animation about love. And the graphic is all VERY well thought of. I like how the animator goes about with the stumbbling 1, and how the 1 becomes a i.
The 1 becomes 2 in a reflection,
a 'CAR' becoming CARes,
and when 1 goes under a bus stand, the poem goes understands,
you will have to see it to know what i'm talking about.

And No, i'm not love sick at the momment, i'm just merely doing my reseach of 'Crazy in love'. I have to create a mood board, a apparel in photoshop and a technical drawing in illustrator. Although i do not need to create the gown technically it is really driving me crazy, because i have to create a feeling on a gown physically when a feeling is mentally. God save me of my misery. well, as for now i've got to go back to work.

(The credits goes to the creator of the animation, artbit. i don't know if he/she minds that it is in my blog, but it's his/her creation.)

The introvert me.

2007-09-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

It is already the end of the 5th week of school. Stress level is building up tremendously, be it in school, in work at home and everywhere else. I don’t know if I would be able to pull through everything, but I will try very hard. I guess that this is going to be my catch phrase soon ‘I will try very hard’, as it is frequently used by me to answer questions I cannot guarantee.

There are so many things in life you cannot guarantee, like exam results, things happening to you, the outcome of things, in summary the future. Life is just so unpredictable; maybe that is why it is so fun to survive. It is when you manage to survive, you can look back and smile at the hurdle and say that is easy peasy. It is also that when you cannot jump the hurdle and gets disqualified, you will kind of know that that is your limit. It is either you are not trying hard enough or you are just gone because you have tried your best and others are just so much better then you.

I don’t know why I am so emotional today, probably because I guess it is today that I take time off for myself to reflect into the past. Life is just so unpredictable, “Today you are in and tomorrow you are out” ‘OUT’ of this world. Once you are out, you may never enter this realm ever again, if you are lucky you can make it through again but the competition to survive is back again. Sometimes I wonder if I was suited to be in this game, brought up to “love” others(Enemies) as yourself, to give the left cheek if someone wants to slap your right, to forgive and forget… and so on… It is all just so extreme.

Competition is a pressure (Pleasure) cooker; someone has to win, and the other to lose. I guess what Serene says is true “It is either you die, or I die. However, I would rather you die.” I feel as if like I am walking the plank on a pirate ship, if I fall off I would just be food for sharks to sink their teeth into. And do not be surprised but the pirates are actually your “friends” in school.

It is great that I’ve met this “Ye Xiao” clique(Yvonne, Serene, Nicola, Youjin and I) of friends when I started to work, I guess I can add on another reason of why I never regretted working in my holidays. I never regretted working and still am because it allows me to have extra pocket money to splurge myself on, to kill some of my time (not for now), meet different customers and of course having a clique that goes out for yexiao(supper) and be siao(crazy) together. But one thing sad is that we are all going to be separated by our own work; I hope we could still meet up but I guess it wouldn’t be that frequent.

I was looking up ‘passive’ just now when I was writing and when I look at the synonyms I realize that that was the word describing me thoroughly. I guess it is sad, but I guess I am actually quite an introvert. Words like Inert, inactive, submissive, reactive, flaccid and not proactive was in that list, and I guess they do describe a lot about my introvert side of me. Sometimes I tell people that I am an introvert and many just laugh their heads off and say that I am as loud as a loudspeaker, come to think of it I guess I am just not open to the unfamiliar. I guess people like me have few friends and would have a hard time finding friends. Enough of being sad and sob-by, I am glad to have Ye Siao and all the other friends who treats me as one. I guess the Joel everyone knows is changing again; even I do not know what I am becoming. Probably I might be a monster? But I hope not...

Im back!

2007-09-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

It has been such a long long long time since i ever blogged. I don't know whether if i would continue to blog frequently as usual but i'll try my best.

Lets travel back in time to May. I slacked at home for a month after my assesments. I got a job at Baleno in june, worked a month at the J8 branch. Continued working at PS up till now. Working in the serving industry has thought me many things, and i realise that many things actually happens behind the cashier.

Signages saying 'UP TO (Fill it in yourself)%' or 'FROM $(Fill it in yourself) onwards' doesn't mean anything. Socks may cost $4 in Baleno but during sale they sell it at $2, that is considered a 50% off. What a bargain!
It is so absurd, but it actually works.

I started off not being that proud of being in Baleno. But come to think of it, it ain't that bad. Customers actually are the people who makes your day. I've met a couple of them, and they are just hilarious. They are just so fun to be with, serving them is just fun.

College in Lasalle has already started for about a month. The fashion classes has began, looking back at all the pains i've gone through the past year was all worth it.

Enough of the looking back, there is a hard fight right infront of me. The work load of projects are still in the initial stages, but i'm sure when it reaches the mid term the preasure might have just built up. The recent case of the graffitti might just not be a act of being deviant, but probably he might be stressed?
I'm still unsure of the situation but i guess it is going to be quite bad. I don't know how things would go, but i just hope things might just turn out better.

Life at 19

2007-05-21T02:06:00.000-07:00

Life is back to what it was originally. I am now in my holidays and I am not enjoying it a single bit. I sectioned and dyed my hair red on my own last Monday. I guess it looked fine the way it is now. What I am afraid now is that the dye might just fade off, and what is left is my brown undertone highlight.

Birthday on the 19th at 19 was just sad, but compared to last year it was not too bad. Received a lot of text messages at the hit of twelve, ate a cake, and got a card. Well I was not expecting much either. That day was spent in the boredom of the church, every second passed like a minute. The family dinner was postponed over and over, and I think there is no meaning in having it anyway.

Nowadays I am home creating my own craft creations. And these are some of my works which should have been in my sketch book for assessment but is not.

Meso's boyfriend, Mr Birdman.

This is his Alter ego, Mr Old man.

Do you know how did Mr birdman died?
He was trampled to death.

The two lions.
Liang zi lao hu,
liangzi lao hu,
pao de kuai,
pao de kuai,
Yi zi mei yowei ba... Indeed one lost it's tail.

Larry: There was this student who did his plaster hand in this position, his hands slipped out of the plaster without the need to trim.
Brenna and Benjamin: *Astonished*

Manuri: You just have to relax and it would be out with a blinking of an eye.

Manuri: See! I've already trimmed it for you. This is going to be easy.

Riddy: OMG! This is worst then giving birth.

Manuri: OMG! This is retribution! I just did one and i got two in return.
Me: Retribution comes threefold.

Manuri: Although you can't see it, but one of my fingers are pointing at you.

Lesson learnt...

2007-05-11T01:39:00.001-07:00

This is a micro view of what struck my eye in the sand that day. A shell in another shell, it is indeed a rare sight. This picture was shot very close to the ocean, so what are the chances of that small shell falling into the other bigger shell? I don’t know, but I am sure the chances are really minute. It was after taking a few shots that I turned my back and wanted to walk away when Manuri asked me if I wanted to pick up those shells. That question did not strike me initially, till I turned back to get it but it was too late. The bigger shell was still there but the smaller shell was gone. I guess it could have been washed into the sea. Sigh! It was something to regret indeed. It seems like it is just shells but I guess it is a lesson learnt. I must treasure every moment I have with every loved one before I actually lose them.

Narcissistic me...

2007-05-11T01:25:00.000-07:00

My name in the sand... leaving a mark wherever i go...

Me and my shadow...

Me and myself

Silhoette of me... notice my hair?

Man! I look like a nun... with her rosary...

My pair of feet.

Sentosa: Class outing

2007-05-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

Sheila, Manuri,Yohana, Me, Kaka(below),Brenna, riddy and Aaron.

Oh man! It was one wholesome day of class outing yesterday. I do not want to sound like a loser, but it was my first class outing of my life. And it was FUN! Guess I was too much of a nerd to be even invited in the secondary days.

We planned to meet up at the harbor front MRT station, and when I got there people I saw were just Sheila and Yohana. Oh man! Our classmates are either late or our class was really small. But soon Riduan and Manuri came by and Brenna arrived last. Riduan being Riddy he played the blaming game and irritated the hell out of Brenna.

Everyone started to take out their shades when we went to the roof of Vivo. Oh my goodness! Jealous! Jealous! Hahaha. We started to check ourselves out in front of those window panes and realized that they were windows of restaurants. Man! People in there must have thought that we were very vain. Oh well! This cannot be helped. We are narcissistic, fashion absorbed students. Aaron came and meet us up at the roof after some camera whoring.

Thanks Brenna for your sunnies.=j

Sheila- A dolly face with gigantic glasses. PAris Hilton in the making.

Riddy and Kaka caught in the act.

Manuri and Kaka

Sheila and Yohana. *Twist*

The trio.

We got on the monorail train and it was a whole new world on the other end. I still missed the old Monorail though. (Unda – wata- wold station…)We bitches got over to the Sentosa beach. Everything at the island looked so much like a resort. (Alea’s backyard is the raffasia hotel, what is resort man?) Nice tiled up flooring, fabulous ambience, and it just does not feel like Singapore anymore.

We walked a long way to the beach, Siloso beach if I am not wrong. Put up in a shed, and started to bitch. We had been bitching all the way. Talking about the popular *B… of the class. Oh man! Juicy gossips spilled all over, with everyone adding more and more to it. I wonder would it be possible if we could compare the spillage with the ocean. I guess we could, because I was laughing my head off with my hearty laughter (The Lydia sum’s Mwahahaha).

Doing the Mwahahaha pose.

Seasons in the sun...Sheila and Manuri posing in the sun.

A dare to climb the tree.

Pretends to have climbed very high... Oh nice view...

Hey don't just stay there, get me some coconuts.

Hey! don't just stay there like a Koala.

Oh my god! Don't tell me that you can't come down, you are stuck? Or did ur pants split? 0_o

I feel that these 3 skinny girls are evil. they brought one plump girl with them to make them noticed. Did anyone tell her that she is not suited to wear a spaghetti when she has such a voluptuous figure?

Something seems missing...

We began to get around with our own random activities like Volley ball, burying Riddy, strolling down the coast line, having several trips to 7-11 to buy slurpy and many more. That volley ball game was fun, although I did not really know how to get the ball over to the other party. It just keeps getting slanted over to the extreme. With that you guys could have seen why I have not been playing sports.

Oh Brenna wants to take pictures with everyone...

Aaron notices something is going on...

Brenna notices it too...

What is going on?

Lets bury him up.

Could somebody help me up?

Okie i'll try to be yan dao... Heex... Can u help me out?

Man! No one is listening to me.

Does anybody care that this is a $*0 underwear?

I'll play dead.

Oh man this does not look like Sentosa, it looks like Changi.

We have all gathered here today...

... may the sand be with the sand and may the soil be with the...

He looks like theres still some life in there. Is he okay? Lets give him some air.

We ended the day at the southernmost tip. We crossed that wobbly bridge entering that shaky watch towers, climbed that many that seems infinite flight of stairs to watch the sunset. It was a cloudy evening, but it was still very awesome. The sun had cast those orangey light rays on the many layers of clouds. The scene was amazing. With the accompaniment of passing ships in the deep sea it was just awesome.

The ocean...

Oh who is that? Destroyed my picture...

The lofty clouds...

Resort like view from the southernmost tip.

Orangey gleam on both Brenna and Manuri's face.

The sun set...

The 1/6 view...

Portrait view...

Dinner was a “Banquet” (Food court), it was our last supper. It was a fruitful day with lots of fun. Would we meet again? I wonder if there would be a second time, this is the first time, and I hope it is not the last.

Time...

2007-05-07T00:13:00.000-07:00

It’s my 19th birthday on the 19th of May. Time has passed by so quickly till I have not noticed that this year will be my last year of being a teen. It seems true of the phrase “Time waits for no one.” Sometimes I wish that I can control time like the good old tape recorder, to pause time when I want to enjoy that particular second, to play back and forth to remember what mistakes I have done and to fast forward whatever times I wish to run away from. But I know that this is impossible and it would just be my own little space in utopia.

19years have come and gone, people say that it is about ¼ my life spent when others could believe it is 1/5. But what have I done all these years? I seriously do not know. What I know is that I have been spending my life full time pursuing my career in academic education and design, but is life just about studying, working and dying? I guess I have to find out.

This is getting too philosophical, probably I am philosophical but I guess this is a life of most teens in this world I am from. Sometimes I wonder what I would be in future. I guess no one can answer that question for me. It is for me to carve out the answer. Just like a dumb sculptor doing his sculpture without any planning. Not being able to explain what he is doing, as he does not even know. Other viewers just standing around thought what he is doing as art. And in the end if the sculpture would turn out being a great one is a question no one can answer. I guess its fate would rely largely on techniques and luck.

I guess my place in that art school is kind of wavering, and I do not know if I can get my place in fashion that I want. I am in a turning point where my future is in suspense and I guess it would be a whole new life with many changes if I do not get in.

Warning: Super Whiny post.

2007-05-06T23:42:00.000-07:00

My assessment has been over for more than 2 weeks, but I do not feel happy at all. It is a holiday of 4 months, why am I not? I do not think I did well in it, and I might just not get into the course I want. But hey its 4 months away, and I guess I would just be moody till I get my results.

I just got my hair trimmed and from the 6 finger forehead (Tyra only has 5) I got back into the spiky head, like those I had back in the early secondary years. I guess this hair is nothing new, and I might not stay in it for too long.

My Tyra inpersonation

This is the Mohawk that I will never have. Talked about it last night when my mum complemented one of the grasshoppers for their Mohawk.
Me: So… Could I have Mohawk? I’ll rather have it over this hairdo.
Dad: No lah!(Very loudly) You still have to go to church you know? (He is scared that he will be embarrassed by the other’s comments.)

The light...

and the dark... the yin and the yang ... the...

Oh wind in my hair! I didn't ever thought that i could feel it again.

Sorry about the cam whoring

And as for now, life at home is being a couch potato. What I do is eating and sleeping and eating some more. I hope I do not put on too many pounds. Or I would just die. Die not over bad results, but looking fat.

Have i changed?

2007-05-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if it was LaSalle who changed me or I have always been like this. It was yesterday that I went to school to help my friends with their assessment, and that riddy got his assessment sampled. All his works were kept in school for the level one lecturer to view. Not only was riddy’s work sampled but many others were. So since I was there, those lecturers asked me to help.

Lecturer: Can you help me carry these things? You are in charged of this person’s work.
Me: Okay, I’ll try.
Lecturer and Dahlia: What? You will try?
Me thinking: *Oh my god! You assumed that I would help you? Go to hell… You were expecting me to say yes? *

I hate it when people take my kindness for granted. I’m so sorry for the person I helped to transport, your works are abused, abused badly by me. I guess Riddy and Cinder were kind of shock at my reaction.

Riddy thought I was very bitchy but he did his own bitching of his own. The lecturer ask him if he would be back to help her with more works, he said maybe.

PAPER PEOPLE DESIGN COMPETITION 2007

2007-04-05T00:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys, i havn't been updating thiss ite. Man! School is ending in 2 weeks. It's another round of accessment, lots of work to catch up with. Time to enter the realm of living dead.

Yup, i went to join this competition with my friend Riddy. Come vote for me, but i don't know how.

"UNLEASH THE CONTENDERS"

On 31st March 2007, a milestone was achieved. Paper People held its inaugural Paper People Design Competition (PPDC '07) showcase at the Singapore Art Museum. One of our supporters, the Beats Society provided the entertainment, with rockers, rappers and balladeers among their musical lineup. Competition was tough, and attracted entries from neighboring Malaysia and Australia, Hong Kong and even Canada with a couple of last minute entries past the deadline.

Applicants were encouraged to decorate their exhibition space, and many did. Adding props helped to complement their artwork, while telling the story behind the designs and how their concepts come about. During the interview with the judges and the artist himself, the applicants were fervent in explaining their artwork concept and story. Overall, many told a similar story. They were excited at having their artwork exposed to the public and held high praise for them. There is such a thing as local talents and all of us should be proud of it.

Being part of the showcase was rewarding enough, although the prize money played a part too. (Well, who doesn’t want to win $1,000 right?)

Judging criteria is based on creativity, clarity of artwork, design conceptualization and reproducibility, amongst others. After seeing all the impressive entries, it was an arduous process to announce the top three. As a result, the judges have decided to re-evaluate their thoughts on some of the designs, resulting in a delay the results announcement. The results from the competition will be announced here on 23rd April 2007, along with the launch of the winning notebook design in our store. We hope to see all of you again for the next PPDC '08. Probably with a bigger goodie bag and prices.
(Information from http://www.paperpeople-shop.com/index2.htm)

This is my entry. All rights reserved to Joel Xiang Desheng.

My inspiration.

Pictures from the web.

Riddy's work.

All the small things VS All the weird things

2007-03-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

"this is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things about themselves as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog."

OMG! The heavy red stilettos have tagged me! It's going to hurt so much! My inner weirdest hobbies are going to be exposed...

1 I eat my veggies?
Oh! It's a must to finish my food.

2 When no one else is in the house, I would look into the mirror and talk to myself. - Self-reflection. Oh my god! I guess I'm freaking everyone out.

3 So why am I weird? ... When I was young, my cousins and I would play family. Sylvia would play the mother role, Qinpei who is a year younger then me would be my older sister. God! What were we thinking, no wonder we are such disturbed kids.

4 Oh yeah! When I was Sec2 I still wanted to go to the playground to play catching with my cousins. Aunties were shaking their heads when they heard our voices. Parents remove their kids from the swings as I guess we were too rowdy.

5 When no one is around I would go around secretly humming to myself. *(To chase away unwanted beings around me. Identical reason as to why the Chinese funeral is so noisy.)

6 I am a narcissist boy, in a metrosexual mind, with a Sadomasochistic fetish.

Okay this is wrong! Really wrong...!
Okay! I'm none of the above.
Who wrote that? You are receiving a letter from my lawyer very soon.

Ahhhhh! What is happening! I have to sabotage another person? Not one but 6? Who is the evil nasty guy who started this trail?
Okie who is deprived, and looks really disturbed? There is bound to be weird-ness in them.I'll choose Shaina, Riddy, Ayuni, Jeremy, Uli and Sean, it does not mean that they are "deprived, weird and looks really disturbed".

The in thing in April

2007-03-16T03:25:00.000-07:00

After reading April's issue of GQ, UK, I guess I can see there is a gradual drift that the European designers are going towards the Asian theme. But I guess in Asia it is a total opposite.

It is said that skinny jeans would be the 'Thing' for guys in 2007. I guess the Emo society is taking over part of the fashion world. (After all there would always be extremes for example the Jesus freaks and the Goths, the simplicity and the detailed)

It is also said that beads and bangles are coming in for guys. Not just any beads, but candy coloured beads. Guess that is shocking? They are stringed with ribbons, sounds familiar? Guess we have all seen them on sisters, mothers and even aunties. There was another one that looks like Buddha beads, in brown and one other in hematite.

Bangles are in too, but what do they look like? They are in chiffon (If I am not wrong), that they tied it at a criss-cross fashion. (There is one in blue in the magazine.)

Oh god! What is the fashion world turning into? Could it be Gautier's fault? Ha ha ha… The fashion industry is going towards the "Do you dare?" area. Testing your guts, testing if you dare to look GAY. Oh well, probably then gays might just come in and out of their closet easily, and I do not know if that is good or bad. So are you gay when you wear such accessories? It might just cause heads to turns and glares of strangers thats all. Have fun with the great attention. After all many are receiving them too, but are they good or bad attention? Do you care and mind the attention?

(These pictures were referenced from http://tatabatata.deviantart.com/, http://limejuice.deviantart.com/, http://expectatipones.deviantart.com/, http://juliamh.deviantart.com/, http://Natbun.deviantart.com/,)

Im feeling drained and dying soon.

2007-03-16T01:23:00.000-07:00

"If sorry-s and thank you-s could buy time, I would want to be a waiter for a while."

This phrase kept running through my head, running through my head this morning. I feel that I have so many back lots with me that I feel suicidal. I feel like dying so that the misery would just end. No, I am not trying to be Emo here but this was what I felt this few days.

This week was crazy, especially yesterday. For internal drawing we have to do 20 A4 drawings plus an A2. And as for today I had to hand in 8 A4 drawings plus one A2 fine art drawing. This was Oh-my-gosh-er la.

For the specialization, the lecturers never even give a push in what we are doing, and so for your information I have not started on anything. *Jaws drop* Yup, so what have I been doing? I have been feeling tired and depressed therefore resulted in such deep shit.

Talking about yesterday. It was so frustrating. Planned to wake up at 9, but was lethargic and I shut off the alarm clock. Woke up at about 1pm, and damn! I regretted not getting up at 9. I couched at the sofa to have my brunch and I realize that I had to get some plastic eyes from spotlight. Gosh in my heart I knew my external drawings were down the drain.

By the time I went and came back it was 5, and I had to meet Andrew at 8 to past him materials. Gosh my weekly expenses gone down the drain. No money for dinner. Cannot explain why to my mum, she will go on and on about why putting church first when you cannot even settle your own stuff.

By the time I got home and had some liquid dinner, it was 9. Began sketching for the 8 A4s. Father came home, and gladly bathed. Came to busy body in my room, asking me to bathe, like as if I dun want. I guess he remembered my principal of once bathed I would not want to leave my house. He 'forgot' to buy bread for sat, and wanted me to buy it, shove me with 2 bucks at me and wanted me to go to 7-11 to buy them. I have so much work, and he still wants me to get them. He himself bathed and so he too did not want to leave the house. I feel that since you are the only one eating whole meal~ bread, go get them yourself, I'm not touching them. But still being a filial son and a stubborn dad, I still have to give in to buy that stupid bread. He could still survive on those 2 slices on the table but still insisted because Friday night in Sabbath and we have to keep it holy. Peh! I do not accept such excuse, either you buy your own and eat your bread or chomp on something else you can find at home. I have learnt that myself when I was young in your house. “You must be more independent.”

I was beginning to get hungry, best way to settle it is to sleep. I intended to wake up early in the morning to continue, set the alarm clock, but it did not work again. Ahh! The rest of the story is not important, I feel drained.

Who am i?

2007-03-11T19:43:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I had blogged again. I was too busy to even come online, or should I say pay a visit to the computer lab. I am getting busier as the days go by, and I have a lot of back lots to work on. Sometimes I ask myself if it is all worth it, damaging my health by staying up late to finish up all the assessments. Nowadays when I look at myself in the mirror I do not know who am I. I guess I have lost my identity through all the things I am doing. I do not know who am I. I guess it is another transition period for me, a very critical situation.

There are many things that are bothering me right now and I do not know how to solve them. Probably when I write them out, the answer is just set there in front of me.

There is so much work to do, yet so little time. Ahhh! No time to finish! How? Is this what I want to do in future? Slog my life away. I have no inspiration and my brain is dead.

No time to finish work and there is no time to spend with friends. Man1 I am losing out with all the fun, but when I do I am lagging behind.

Just a few weeks ago this question struck me, why am I going to church? I should not go to church because I do not intend to go there anyway. Going to church seems to be a waste of time. Everyone wakes up early on the Saturday morning just to work on his or her projects and I am there at church not knowing why am I there. Sometimes I ask myself why am I going to church when my heart is not there, why am I wasting time on things I am not interested in. Sometimes I wonder if church in killing my career in studies or are my studies killing my Christian life.

This busy schedule is killing me. I guess I do not even have time for self reflection. I am so losing it. I do not know who am I. And this is a dangerous problem in the design industry. Could someone alleviate me from such pain? Help me! Someone?

Mysterious wind...

2007-02-26T23:35:00.000-08:00

I wonder who is at the door...

It's nobody, but a gush of wind...

Ahhh! I'm too lame. I'm crippled by my wits.

Masochistic pleasure

2007-02-26T23:22:00.000-08:00

Oh look at the pocket on my hand.

Oh the raw wound looks like a star.

Ok! Look at the tan! I was much fairer before going for that external drawing.

Unintentional, but I was focusing on the hanger on the floor.

Graduation

2007-02-26T22:48:00.000-08:00

People are never happy at which position they are it is human nature.

Making the first move to the Dark side.

Entering the Dark side.

The mind is with the Dark side, but the body is not.

Regretted the decision, but the body is stuck.

Suddenly realize that it was morning, and everything was just a dream.

Everybody is now having the *yeah right!* look...

When I looked at my hand, I realized that everything was true. It was not a dream. The embellishment was stuck to my fingers.

Nothing is impossible, just as long as we set our minds to it. But every decision comes with a result therefore bare the consequences.

OMG!

2007-02-26T22:33:00.000-08:00

Today is the last lecture for this week, it is just 30 minutes long introducing about what we are going to do for our last term. Which lasts for only 5 weeks. Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock! Time is running out!

They are eliminating the 3D and 2D studies and substitute it with our specialization. Which means for 2D we would be working on our Fashion illustration and 3D would be reconstruction of a shoe. OMG! It sounds interesting, but there is so much work to do. The internal and external drawing to go on as normal, which means I would receive more sun tanning and lots of cartridge paper to be used.

Today's lecture theatre was much smaller, and wow I finally see flamboyant people. There was this girl with that perky cheerleader double ponytail hair do, with pink rubber bands. OMG! And there is an OMG upsize. She was wearing white furry twinkling pom pom earrings. I did not dare look at her face, if not it would be a triple upsize OMG. I can see that there are even more flamboyant people around. I am not the only one. I think I should just stick to my low profile dressing, which has always been my style, although not many people agrees with the low profile.

Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Ross and her DJ crew came to school today, promoting some device that I was not that interested about. But when I pointed her out to the rest, I guess she heard her name and the look on her face was hilarious. She looks as if she wants to find out if I am saying something bad about her, but yet she cannot due to her job.

Here is something else to OMG about. There was this girl who entered the train that I was on at city hall. She looked like someone I know,which turned out not to be, and I shall not name her. She was in rubber sports shoes, ankle socks, shocking green Hawaiian shorts, T-shirt, back pack which was hung on both shoulders, wearing glasses, with lots of pins trying too hard to get the hair in a pony tail and she was trying to read her book.

After seeing me she tried to remove her glasses but I guess she cannot really see and she put it on again, she did that for a few times. Later when some people exited the next station she rushed to a corner, put on her glasses and continued reading. God! Am I so scary that she does not even dare read a book? I do not think I scared her by scanning her, as she began to remove her glasses when she first entered the MRT.

Oh yeah, this reminded me of the trip at Toapayoh. Where my sister and I saw this girl with those crocodile clips (Those where aunties always use to support their French twists), she had two bright orange clips on both her head. Oh god! She needs help! She was quite confident about her looks even though she received glares, that is until I started to talk about her to my sister.

The battle of the "Who is the best fashion student"

2007-02-26T21:50:00.000-08:00

It is scary but true. The fashion war has just begun. I was just telling my sis yesterday that a fierce battle is about to begin.

It is the specialization lecture today, and just as expected, it was a fashion parade. Things that happened on the first day of school recurred again. The lecture was packed with lots of information and it was boring. It was about what we should expect in the few years of studies with LaSalle. The speaker, the dean, was monotonous, probably due to her deep English accent.

There was no power point, probably we were too pampered under Jane's care. Other then that, she was quite detailed with the information. I guess many were restless, but I was all right. Well it is all thanks to the training I got from Chinese church, which used to be an old traditional church that does not believe in technology.

The ending of the lecture was really bad. The speaker lured us into believing that we will be watching some glamorous runway at the end of the speech, and then when the video began to roll it wasted like 10 to 15 minutes of the time showing photography shots of the sewing room, of sewing machines, needle cases, rules, sign boards, etc. With weird dial tone noises as background music.

Oh how great! It would so benefit the fashion comm. and probably the fashion Management students. And with the last 10 minutes showing designs of 3 design students. The first and second was not as great as the third, and when the first few designs of the models were shown, the system has to be shut down due to the next batch of students coming in for their lecture.

The lecture was boring but what went on beneath the stage was interesting. The battle began when we first entered the school gate, or should I say when students scanned each other while waiting at the bus stop.

First challenge: Battle of the apparel

People trying to out dress each other, even brought back those sunnies again. God save me! However, all is not lost. I did some preparations of my own.

Second challenge: Battle of popularity

Although for this challenge, it's presence has always been around. But I could feel that people would get nasty, to get what they want to achieve.
I guess what Sheryl said was true. Everyone is inferior of each other in the room when they see their own faults in themselves. Who is perfect anyway? Under pressure it would lead people to unforeseen limits to cross each other's lines. Your friends, the people you trust around you turn their backs and stab you on your behinds. And even so, there are still some friends who are worthy of your trust. I guess that is true friendship. The line of friends and fiends is very thin, a test of loyalty.

These is just the beginning and there is more to come...

Chinese New Year

2007-02-20T22:27:00.000-08:00

*Flash back*

Time line

Sat -I went to meet my friends to do my 3D project.

Sun –Planned to do work, but allowed myself to be a bum.

Mon-I rushed my PowerPoint. It ended with a disaster, tragedy, find any other bad-er words to fill in? Unexpectedly spend the whole night at my friend's place and stayed over the night doing the 3D model.

Tue – For both night and wed morning was spent on painting (A1 piece). So I did not sleep for 2 days and till today it has not been completed.

Wed – Came back after school and was too tired to do any work.

Thu – I tried to write my 1ooo words essay at school. But no, I could not gather any information. I planned to get home to draw A2 pieces of drawings at night for Friday, but I had to rush my essay and therefore I did not complete any drawings.

Fri – Rushed to school to do the page layout of the essay. Missed drawing class, but Kin still attended to my unfinished work and gave me more research to search on.

*End of flash back*

The presentation week has ended last week and the New Year has begun again. Threw all the thoughts of assignments at the back of my mind and tried to enjoy the New Year, but it was yesterday when a group of us in cell travelled across Kallang that those thoughts returned. I guess it is about time I begin to work again.

Nowadays I feel that celebrations are getting too commercialized and it is just a business strategy. Noticed how Halloween and Easter bunnies came about? Decorations on the streets and posted notice boards are so similar to each other and are no different every year, probably just the twelve mascots.

Due to Chinese customs, we are not allowed to trim our hair on Chinese New Year (I wonder how people would look when they do not shave for 15 days.) So on the eve, my sister needed my help to choose the right tone of brown for her hair, she said that she wanted something loud and she had a tough decision between caramel and hazel. I liked the hazel colour and she liked the caramel, but somehow she took the hazel dye and I had the caramel. Since her hair was long, and one bottle of dye was not sufficient, we had to mix both hazel and caramel together. And to her horror she finds her hair colour too light, as if she looks like a lion. But in the first place she wants something loud right? After all I find that her colour was too dark and could be lighter. I thought I had mixed the colour dye thoroughly in the bottle but in fact the caramel, which was lighter, was below the hazel and I used the remainder to touch up the sides and areas which was not properly done, which resulted highlights. Maybe we were not supposed to mix the colour at all, as probably the hazel dye was lighter in buoyancy then the caramel, and therefore the caramel sunk to the base of the bottle. I did have some creative dying on my own, but the colour was too dark to show or my base colour was already quite light.

In the evening we sat the bus from the Yishun bus interchange all the way to China town, the reason my dad gave for such a decision was that we could experience the New Year. Yeah right! More like seeing busy cars riding across speedily then seeing the busy Chinese people working their way to sell their products away, either way was boring to me. I guess he began to regret that decision, as we walked into a bazaar and we had an eye for a lot of things. I saw this exact shell bracelet which we thought we had a great bargain in Bangkok for just one dollar. I guess I have to walk around china town once in a while.

We had reunion dinner at China town, the usual vegetarian restaurant. Food was not too bad, but it was not great either. What I liked most was their mushroom soup which was loosely translated as “shark fin soup”. They used lots of mushrooms, vermicelli, bean curd skin, and even more mushrooms to create the texture of real sharks fin. I was surprised to see that there were no clumps of tapioca starch in the midst of my soup, which is quite unsightly and common in the other vegetarian restaurants. In the conversations we were saying about what we could do in Chinese New Year and what we should not. In the Chinese culture it is said that we cannot curse or say inauspicious stuff, but that does not include bitching, which says bad things about the other person. And we were all expecting to have a big major bitching session when all the cousins gather together.

It reminded me of the many accounts where my sister and I met a guy in a red costume claiming to be god of fortune and McDonalds, crowding around children giving them chocolate coins, what pedophilic behavior. Since we cannot curse people on such a glorious day, I wonder how staunch Christians would react.

Joel *trying to be a staunch Christian*:

Demon from hell! Go away!

Step back you evil spirit!

On the way home, we saw this busker guy (whatever it is, bustard!) who stood on a platform like a statue and only moves when money is put in his bucket. (Yeah! Kick his bucket!) It is quite famous to have such artistic exhibits on the roads of Barcelona and Europe, but not in Singapore. That poor guy stood there the whole day, and just received flashes of Camera but not money. And as for evil me, I was just taunting him with my sister, and I could see that he was quite affected.

Joel:

Hey try poking him to see if he is really professional!

Oh my god! Look at him! He is shaking already.

He is even blinking! How professional.

God! There is even more people out there doing these stunts, better go brush up your skills.
I did not go near him, neither did I touch him, but he looked really pissed off and gave me a 'you better remember this' look. I guess the government is trying to promote art to the heartlands, and this might just be one of their initial moves.

When I got home, I had to transform my dirty, messy ugly room to clean, neat and tidy. Due to the recent reshuffling, renovations and presentation, it was a mammoth task. Multiple boxes stacked up like a tower in my room and I wonder where do I store them now.

The first day of New Year was great, an exchange of tangerines to receive red talisman of wealth. Free flow of tidbits exhibits on a table with no obstruction to how much to obtain. Cousins gather in the room like sardines, playing cards and sharing stories. Just that I received my first scolding, just on the first day of the new year. My dad had a huge verbal war with my dad about a cake. He brought it out to the open and forgot about it. When my mother discovered it, it was not only melted but disfigured and infested with little creatures.

Dad: Joel, I bought a cake yesterday, you want to go and eat?

Joel: ok.

Dad: Eat cake also have to ask you to go.

Oh my God! You want to invite me to eat your cake and you can still blame me for your invitation. What an unreasonable man! Even though you lost your battle with your spouse does not mean you can get back at me.

The second day was a trip to the movies, to watch “just follow law”. It was quite unoriginal, which was quite similar to chemistry and freaky Friday. There was a swap of bodies and souls, and both character soon understood how each other felt.

The third day was a trip to Christon’s house. There I met Hydon, Sophrain, Rachel, Frank and many more. There I found out that Mrs. Liah is no more teaching. It is so interesting to catch up with people I have not met in a while. Went to Art Friend to try out the Copic markers with Andrew and Sean, the markers does not bleed as much it claims to be. Probably throughout the years they had already improved on it. I went to Jurong point to have some fun at the Arcade. It has been a long time since I played Para Para. God! I’ve totally lost it. The game machine is quite limited with the choices of songs and their high scores were quite high, which means the machine is not deserted. Went back to Alison’s place to have a few sessions of Mahjong, we played a dong and it was fabulous. The table was spoiled and we rolled the tiles on the floor till we got crams in our feet. My luck was not that good, but the game was fun.

I guess although the New Year has been commercialized by the media, the main idea of the festive season is still there, to reunite the family and to allow bonds to gel, forget the past and create the new future. I wonder if it would still apply to our family, our clan meets up every week, or should I say, most of our clan meets up every week. But anyway it is good to have fun and see each other three days in a row, some had four.

Engrish

2007-02-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

Really?! No way!
(Information obtained from http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=engrish&i=1)

A form of English characterized by bad translation from Japanese by someone who is decent at translating vocabulary but has a poor grasp of English grammar. Tends to be a word-by-word literal translation with humorous results for native English speakers. Engrish is most common in old video games and anime subtitles.The term "Engrish" comes from the fact that the Japanese language does not have distinct L and R sounds. They do have a consonant that is roughly somewhere in between these two sounds, but whether this translates to L or R in English depends on the situation (and therefore can be interpreted wrong.)
All your base are belong to us. (Your bases are all under our control.)A winner is you. (You win.)Somebody set up us the bomb. (Someone has placed a bomb on our ship!)*Make your time. (I have no idea what this means.)*PS: The original form of this is "set up us," not "set us up" as most people say it. If you're going to make fun of the bad translation, try to get all the mistakes.

n. Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design. Often,not only in Japan, but all around the world.
A sign in a Japanese hotel room may read "No Smorking" instead of "No Smoking".There are many Japanese snacks with American names, such as "Dew-Dew Mix", "Pecker", and "Eat Me!".

Engrish is the slang term for Japanese to English translations gone horribly wrong, and the results are often extremely funny
Engrish: "Gives you strong mouth and refreshing wind"What they meant to say: "Gives you a healthy mouth and fresh breath"

Pronounced: in-grishEnglish language written or translated by men or women in East Asian countries. This text is usually translated by someone without the knowledge of traditional American English or with very poor translating skills. Also, the lack of spoken English is lacking so the translator isn't aware of his typos. ENGRISH is usually comprehendable and typos sure be accepted as normal text since this is part of the translation process. ENGRISH can be found in many places, some of which are User's Manuals of imported goods, signs, menus, to bizarrely worded advertisements and strange t-shirt slogans and even some billboards in in English speaking cities in Asia like Hong Kong and Tokyo.
"All your base are belong to us" , this is ENGRISH from the game 'Zero Wing' on the Sega Genesis

oh man! now i know why have my english writing been labeled as fragmented....

My last words...

2007-02-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

I am so not looking forward to this year’s Chinese new year. I have to finish this term’s work by this week, and next week would be for us to present all our work. And as for Chinese New Year I would be left with touch ups, work on-s to do. The nearer the date of presentation approaches, the more frustrated I am. Worst thing is that the online portal to notify us about our work is down. I’m so dying.

I guess I’ll have to stop blogging for a while, till I’ve caught up with the times at least. I have wasted enough time, I do not have enough time, and Chinese New Year is near. Spring-cleaning is going to be a killer. My room has returned to its original state, into a dump, and I have to get it cleaned up. Due to the recent reshuffling of the rooms, there are appliances to be rewired, furnishings to be readjusted, and many more stuff to boggle my mind with.

My contextual lecturer is so going to murder me. The 1000 word essay is still undone. She wants us to impress the press. Guess what? I feel depress about the mess in my nest. Seated in my desk, I want to rest, but I’m just too bordered with my quest.
I have to go get a stretched canvas later at art friend. I better get going and rush home to get my internal work done.

True colours

2007-02-01T01:13:00.000-08:00

You with the sad eyes, Don't be discouraged
Oh I realise
It's hard to take courage, In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all, and the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colours, Shining through
I see your true colours, and that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show, Your true colours
True colours are beautiful, Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then, Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy, and you've taken all you can bear
You call me up,
Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colours,
Shining throughI see your true colours, and that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show, Your true colours
True colours are beautiful, Like a rainbow

I can't remember, when I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy, and you've taken all you can bear
You call me up, Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colours, Shining through
I see your truecolours, and that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours, true colours
True colours are shining through
I see your true colours, and that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show, Your true colours
True colours are beautiful, Like a rainbow

-Cyndi Lauper

So why am I here in school again?
I have not blogged this week, so here I am blogging. I really liked that dove advertisement of how teenagers look at themselves as ugly, but actually they are pretty. MRT stations with huge posters of a girl looking emotionless telling people that people start to deprive their system of food from age 15. (I guess I started much earlier.)

Me: Hey I like that advert, really nicely shot.
Shaun: I looked at the advert and I feel like crying.
If they were ugly, then I would want to kill myself.

And after viewing the advert again, yes, I think so too. Those models used were quite pretty, just that the industry of this era does not require that look. And that is why they are classified as ugly, but in actual fact ugliness is still around.

Take for example the girl, who hates her curly hair. It is trendy for people to get their hair perm that way. And even then, she could easily have the hair iron to get sleek hair. The girl with the single eyelid could easily swipe on some eye glue, and have the Y stick to get her double eyelid in place.

To me, real ugliness is disfiguration. But people who looks ugly still has chances, everyone is going for surgery. Xiaxue went for a nose job, and it was showed all over television and she is not even disfigured.

True ugliness is similar to true beauty. It is a radiance that is shown like an aura from within. Ever felt like leaving a room when someone entered it? Ever felt like leaving a conversation but however stuck? Stuck with someone even dermabrasion would not help remove that ugliness, the ugliness that comes out from within.

That is sad, and these people do exists. What I’m writing about is the inner beauty, the character. Having a nice face and an ugly character is just doing injustice for people with good character. People always say God is fair. He gives you a good character but does not result with good features.
So shall we deduce that ugly people have good character? I guess not. The society is just very real that when you look pleasant you are treated better. Having a good character but an ugly face, people tend to shun away, and therefore how do they see the inner beauty of you? This topic is a very debatable topic, but these are just my views.

To me, I see myself as ugly. Surprised? I do not see myself to be compassionate, kind, and helpful. Maybe it is only my friends who would know who I am. I feel that I am just bitchy me, looking down at others and list out all the negative points out of my mouth. Hear my views at your risk, it may be poison, but this reveals my frank views. I hate those losers, who bitch for the sake of bitching, bitch till they have to eat their own words as they have those weaknesses too. What goes around comes around. I may just have to face my consequences when I've reached my limit.

random snaps...

2007-01-30T04:14:00.000-08:00

Yanwei just entered army few weeks ago, and Kenneth is going in soon. A before and after shot.

Yay! This is the first time Manuri learnt the chopsticks. Not really, she did it afew times just to pose for diff cameras.

I know what you did last friday...

2007-01-30T02:40:00.000-08:00

The collision of tiles is trapped in an enclosed small space. They are fondled among the hands of adults.

It was a night like no other. No one realized that there was anything amiss. It was the moon. It did not shine that one night. And on that same night something terrible had happened.

The little heart and mind feels troubled. She tries to find someone to rescue her.

She runs out to the corridor and waits patiently for her friend. Unknowingly she had unleashed a whole new dimention into her mortal realm. She had trampled onto unknown grounds.

Her friend arrived, but he does not see her. She has entered into another realm and she does not know about it. In that realm, she saw no one.

All her friend could do was to wait.

Her friend tries to search for her, but she was no where to be seen.

Even though she were to walk down that same stairs she still would not see him.

All he could do was to wait,

and wait somemore.

So where did she went? Did she came back to her realm to meet her friend?

All that is still a mystery till today.

Stressful life...

2007-01-24T22:02:00.000-08:00

Came to school especially today just to get my contextual work done. LaSalle's workload has increased this semester and I hope it does not overwhelm me. The projects are increasing and the challenges are rising too. The increased projects have resulted in less time to relax, TV serials seemed boring as I watch it in chopped up scenes.

Sleeping way after the witch's hour, the glamorous hour of 4am, to be able to sleep at 3am would be a blessing. Waking up in the morning would be so tiring and burdensome. Due to the lack of sleeping hours, the body assumes that it can have a longer resting time. But no, the owner has to get up before he even gets to dream.

Walking out of the house looking glamorous is very important, that is even so when I do not feel so. Choosing an outfit is very important, it sets down like a fixative of how noticeable I' am around campus and lecturers. (Probably that is why from previous posts I receive pretty much glares then glimpse or glances.)

Movement and maneuvering around must be at top speed, or else time is wasted and I cannot afford that. When doing a still life drawing, I would have to be very still and concentrate on the measurements from the pencil head. But in the midst of this stillness, time is still ticking its way across the classroom and speed is still involved.

Life in Campus is so oxymoronic, that we are all expected to do things of the both extremes. I really admire those who make it through with just a breeze.

Sat night at Figs and olive of Vivo.

2007-01-22T23:49:00.000-08:00

Cool Mum, with her retro thing going on. And dad, in his polo's, how glam...

Oh cool, look at the fence.

And this is the "simply delicious" fish and chip.

Learnt from America's next top model, the haha-ing out loud to create a vibrant natural smile.

The haha-ing gone wrong. It should never be done this way.

Doing the side profile, showing nice... @#$% teeth. My eyes are weird, the eye further away looks bigger then the one nearer, distorted face.

The famous half smile...
... Gone wrong... popularized by Elvis, Immortalized (alienated) by me.

Front profile, flawless skin, but squinty eyes.

Ok, lets perfect it, open-wide open-wide. The eyes look huge, the smile too wide, I look sadist.

My sister's friend said that I look better then my sis.

So if whatever that person said was true...
When someone praises me I feel happy.
When someone praises her for her looks,
I would feel very happy. (I being praised)
When someone criticizes my looks,
I feel even happier. (She looks worst.)
When someone criticizes her of her looks...(I know...)

It was my dad's birthday and we went to Figs and olives, a Mediterranean restaurant. The queue was long, but the waitresses were pretty and the service was good. The food sucked, at least for my cheesy fish and chip. The ordinary dory fish that could be gotten from those hawker stalls is topped with a layer of a familiar piece of square cheese, those we eat for breakfast. The cheese is an obvious cheese dale or some brands that are bought off shelf. And even so, the fish was not crispy, but soggy. I can't believe that we were paying for that. The fries were heavenly though. I guess that was the only nicest thing I have eaten there. I shall not write about the ice cream, which I don't even bother to picture.

Black slippers, I like~.
It happens to be my star sign. And my book, a book that would hold my writings and thoughts. They are presents from my sis when she came back from Krabi. I had no chance to photo document it, and I didn't want to use it till I do so.

Pics left in my cam

2007-01-16T02:09:00.000-08:00

The goth tower containing cupids to serve wine gliding up and down the wine shelfs with cable.

Prominence is everywhere you look. The mosque looks really great, as if it was extracted from spain.

Shaun's b'day

2007-01-16T01:56:00.000-08:00

2 group pictures, for you all to decide which is better. Some heads were down or away on both pictures.

The soft side of Shaun

The not so nice side of Shaun

Look at his hands...
...does it just look yummy?
I mean the cake.

Cam Whoring with cousin Sheryl.

2007-01-16T01:35:00.000-08:00

This season's ultimate accessory must have is the pageboy hat. Accompanied with a checkered shirt under a pull over to give it a country feel.

A beret would be the other choice to get a touch of French, the floral top would infuse a little of country to the dressing.

To tie up the whole package, wear a pendant on a thin chain or string so that it applies a subtle detail to add contrast to the whole dressing.

Pics

2007-01-16T00:26:00.000-08:00

Sylvia: Hey Qinpei! You look like a actress... ...Who acted in The Wig.

Sylvia: (Laughing away)
Qinpei: So farnie...hehe.(Sarcastic)

Yanwei and i(Flashing our teeth, competing with the camera's flash)

Qinpei: Hey hey! The Super ultra force.

Qinpei: Eh! Sorry la.
(Takes picture and snap)

Qinpei: I know you don't like me la. But...
...Just smile at the camera!

Andrew's house

2007-01-15T23:55:00.000-08:00

Foresighted to know that Christmas weekend would be chaotic with programs, our cell group had brought forth the Christmas party by a week (16/12/2006). We spend a fabulous sleep over at the Phua's, causing noise disturbance to the family.

The evening started off meeting at Sembawang's Sun plaza. Being famous for the cheapest shop in town the cell members help themselves with snacks and other necessities.

The Phua's were just a bus journey away from Sembawang. On reaching the gate, an extravagant staircase spiraled down to greet us. The Phua's lived in an extravagant estate, furnished with the fusion of European and oriental. It was such a pleasure to stay over at the Phua's.

The night started off hogging Andrew's private chambers with our baggage. Stumbling over his bed, testing out the springs and snuggling up under his blanket of warmth.

Some others headed to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. Dinner was fantastic, and the potato wedges were the hit on. Seated around the table, with a lazy Susan in the middle, signifying the togetherness the cell group shares. We chatted and socialized with each other, not to care of what holds tomorrow.

The icebreaker game host by Christon started the ball rolling, getting to know each other better. The activity of the night was the gift exchange. Everyone had his or her gifts in the middle, using the phrase "The first shall be the last, and the last shall be the first" to set the rules of the exchange. The first would get to pick any present of his or her choice, but the second would get to pick any gifts from the middle or the present the first chose. The third would get to pick any presents from the middle, or from the people of the first and second's. The list goes on and the last person gets to choose any gift available.

The night carried on with movies, the first to be shown on screen was Memoir's of a Geisha. I interrupted the movie with a bowl of ice cream, as if I were to not dish it out everyone would be just too tired to eat. They continued watching sky high and many other shows, but Shaun, Nicholas, Ashree, Joel Toh, and I continued our night with cards. The big fight of the Joel-s against the others were strong, Nicholas and Ash soon retired to their deepest slumber. It was left with Shaun and the Joel-s. Who would win? The game went on till the crack of dawn, no one counted the number of wins and we were too tired to bother.

Our voices in the game were kept at quite a loud volume, and it had woken up the whole house, but no one said anything. Miraculously everyone got up at 7 and we had a scrumptious breakfast at the prata place next door. Breakfast was a treat from the Phua's and I guess everyone had a great time.

Deprived of childhood

2007-01-12T01:53:00.000-08:00

From what you can see we were very deprived from our childhood, and we went to experience it on 25th christmas night.

This was how Qinpei and Sylvia looked before they did the stain glass, estatic.

Before

After

Being happy she found out what she has been missing.

Being bashful of her appearance.

Me being very proud of my work.

Our final product.(The pictures were too distorted that we didn't know what it was)

Super gal,

Witchy gal,

and smurfy boy.
*(Is my smurf infront the mushroom or vice versa?)

Random pictures

2007-01-12T01:46:00.000-08:00

Necklace i did when i was really bored

Arch Angel making a decision of who is the real evil one. (Taken from the Costume party for nov babies)

Fabulous Brownies but only a couple could taste it, the others were bad. The 2nd batch turned out really nasty.

My disastrous haircut

2007-01-12T00:56:00.000-08:00

It looks okay from the front, and side but horrendous from the back.

Wet look

Natural look

Out of bed look

Wall Mural Accomplished

2007-01-11T19:35:00.000-08:00

Window of reflection

Random snaps of the wall.

Stencils which i created out of vanguard sheet and a piping of masking tape to Reinforce it.

Intended stencil, but my fickle mind of mine changed.

Last night's dinner

2007-01-09T22:18:00.000-08:00

Last night's dinner was very boring, all we did was to discourage dad for purchasing the budget airline tickets to Cambodia during the national day weekend. Who wants to go there? Knowing dad he would want to safe cost everywhere we go. I would rather spend time at home to watch the parade, or to even work on my projects then to go overseas to look at hills and mountains. We have not been overseas for many years; the last time I went abroad was to go to KL. Shall we just stay in Singapore for a long period of time to save up for a nicer location? I guess it would not work, as the money would be channeled away to things like a new bike, more ugly plants, boring health books and evangelistic DVDs that are in poor quality.

Some how or rather dad has been affected by the Gavin and Sparrows group that came last December. He quoted from the bible something about during the end times the son, fathers, and grandfathers must stand together, I guess it did not work for him and never will. I do not think it would work for me either, we are of totally different worlds, and I cannot imagine for us to be united together. Even while we are discussing over the bible (the only thing we can converse about) he has his funny reasoning that sounds really absurd, things, which are assumed and connected by similar events.

He envies the close connection other families have, he feels that he is a failure in parenting and feels inferior when others talk about the close knitted relationship they have. But sorry to say, I am very happy at our current state because it feels like we can do away with his presence.

Birthdays

2007-01-09T02:11:00.000-08:00

Birthdays are the days we yearn when we r young, cheat ourselves that it does not come after 20 and dratted when we are old, yet it comes around faithfully every year without fail whether we want it or not. Come to think of it I am turning 19 this year, the last year to be a teen, if I do not want to cheat myself that is.

Today is my mum's birthday and we are spending it at the usual Swenson's. It has turned into a tradition, and I find it rather boring. What we do is to have a simple meal there, unlike those birthdays where it is spend within some posh restaurants. I can already sense the choices we are going to make, bake rice, Caesar salad, fish and chips, sticky chewy chocolate, banana split... How boring. Not to say I have very high taste, but it is really sad to spend such special day like that. It just feels like an ordinary day but a different choice of food, the choice of food only reserved for the "special occasion".

LaSalle courses has begun and I dun even have time to think of what to get for my mum, Shaun's birthday is tomorrow and I have not gotten anything for him. Why should I even remember his name? He did not even get anything for me, great! And I have to fork out money for him now. And that reminds me that i end school really late tommorrow, i will look so un-glam and haggard.

It's just the beginning of semester and I feel like crap. I guess I have to look for some motivational speaker to talk to me, so I can depress them.

Back to school

2007-01-08T18:55:00.000-08:00

Here I am back in LaSalle again. So what have I been up to throughout the months? Leaving here with just a pathetic post of the trip to the Turkish restaurant, without even a picture of myself. It was the first time did the trio met up in a long while.

Well the great accomplishment I've done throughout my holidays was that wall mural I painted. I did pretty much of other stuff, but it just did not have the wow factor. I did things like painted a rusting table black, helped out in a church's CBS (Character Building School) for one day because I was not woken up on time, created 2 necklaces, bummed around, and many other crazy things.

The first day of school was a beginning of a beautiful nightmare, I wonder if I have just created an oxymoronic word on my own. Yes, it was really bad because the school is moving on to IT learning and everything is fed into the Internet. Not having to prepare anything left me in shock when the portal was updating me. This semester's work is going to be taxing, like what Ayuni said, 'It feels like we are back in secondary school where we are being pushed around to do things...' we have to write a 1000 word academic essay with inferences from books. And that is just one assignment from one of the many classes I attend.

For workshop throughout these 3 weeks, we would be working with oxidizing of silver nitrate to create a negative print picture. The result is very unpredictable; it is either too black due to over exposure, or too light with very little details. The creating of the image was not difficult, just that processing the pieces of cards individually with the method of try and error was the patience killer.

I find that the lecturer is really unprofessional, he speaks fragmented in broken English. I wonder if he actually got his masters, unless he writes fabulously well but he just tries to break it down so that we could understand him better.

Anatolia

2006-11-28T23:56:00.000-08:00

Hmm!~ Nice tea.

*Fash**flash*No paparazzi!

Posing 4 tea.

*Swirl*

Whirl of spices

Squidwirt

Micky mouse

Vivo city...

2006-11-09T20:57:00.000-08:00

Ben, Manuri, Yohanna, Sheila, Brenna and me.

The leaving batch of friends.Nelly Yohanna, Manuri and Sheila.

Nelly and Sheila, grandma and grand daughter... oh so loving

Brenna and Manuri.

Foot steps which lead to playing of water.

The skinny snowman, probably due to the sun which melted the snow.

Doesn't Sammy look like bert?

Jesse, Sammy, Gracie and I.

Oriental grills as the doors of shops, how smart.

Cool maniqins...

They are upside down actually... wonder how did they actually keep them up there

Photos of casulty, my room after the war, my accessment

2006-11-09T20:54:00.000-08:00

The looks of my room from the door, looks like the mouth of the shoot, rubbish shoot.

The messy table... i mean floor...

I better start saying my rosary...

Outside jewel box

2006-11-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

'Darkness' is the name of this picture.See how much cruelty i have faced by the 4 girls. They don't even want to look into my camera.

Even when i got the lightings right, they turn away from me.

Nevermind i'll take my self picture.

Who is that behind me? it's so freaky...

I look gross...

...

...just like a tranny

Just gross.

Mt Faber

2006-11-09T20:11:00.000-08:00

Sashaying checkards

Picket roof.

Basket full of periwinkles

Firefly fly by.

Shaky HDB lights.

Crappy picture of sentosa.Bird's eye view.

Can you see the trees? Love this pic lots.

Lights taken from Mt Faber

Couch tofu...

2006-11-09T19:08:00.000-08:00

Standing in the bus with lots of level 1 and 2 students looking at me as if I were an alien from space, guess that it was the shirt I was wearing or maybe I was too charming. And yes, I've guessed it! I shouldn't be here. Damn! I reached school at 830am this morning, thinking that I'll be through lecture by 10. But no, the lecture was postponed to 5 and ends at 530. Wow! That gives me 8½ hours to prepare for lecture. I so needed it.

I've been slacking at home all week, and I need to get some use to. Having such a hectic life, there is a change from so much of things to do to having not much things to do. Not that I'm franticly looking for things to do, but just that I'm now easily bored of things to do.

The life of a sloth is getting into me, seating on the couch waiting for time to fly by. Don't I sound like an aging elder? Sin... sin... sin...

Bleah!~ I'm turning crappy.

*Indulges in escapism*
I'm turning into a tofu, in the shade, away from the sun. A chunk of fermenting tofu, rotting on a couch. Lying there in front of the box of moving images, waiting for someone to excavate me from my location.

I guess I'm too bored.
Sorry readers, I've just molded my reputation to be a deep thinker but shallow in thoughts.

Random pics...

2006-10-29T21:22:00.000-08:00

A portion of my favourite accessories....

Ben, Nelly, Brenna, Manuri and Me.These were the peepz i hanged out with on friday night.

Rai and her mum, at hype up.

My sis n I...

Zi lianism....

1 last post before the next time i have the chance to.

2006-10-29T20:45:00.000-08:00

It is not time for diseases,
It is not a time for such risk.

The time of the year has come,
The time where everything freezes,
Time where life is put at risk.

Yes, it is a time of presentation. A day where students gather their works of the semester, a day where they are being judged, to be weighed on the scale to prove if they are worthy to proceed on to the next semester.

It sounds frightening, and yes it is. It determines if you are in or you are out. I feel so afraid as the day draws near. I have been procrastinating, and the work is piled up, high up till I don't know where to start. I hope that as I write this, it motivates me to quickly work on the undone.

All right, the break is coming and it means that I will hibernate from blogging for a while. As the squirrels get their rest, I'll get back to doing my little projects and hopefully get it sold online. As the year turns anew, I'll be back here restored for more inspirations.

Looking at life through a staple pierced hole

2006-10-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

Looking at objects is a daily routine, but ever wondered if we are just looking at life through the imaginary sparsely woven cloth, or a hole through a staple pierced paper?The vision is translucent up close, however if viewed a little further things are just not what it seems to be. People have been telling me that "Joel you are thinking too much." "Don't look too far." But is it good or bad thing?

Probably I am a pessimist and a realist at the same time, and being human, people just does not like to look at reality. Especially if it is bad, it seems as if it is a taboo to analyze it out loud. But isn't it weird? People would rather stick their head in holes like ostriches do then to then to face the dangerous obstruction up front.

Individuality

2006-10-29T18:03:00.000-08:00

So what is individuality?
I guess as I enter deeply into the theme of self, the more I feel that I am a stranger to myself. Who am I actually? I've wondered to myself once, how would I react if I were to find someone else who was exactly like me? I guess my first reaction would be to get into rival mode, and despise that person for having no originality to be authentic. But again, who likes to see someone else exactly like himself or herself? I guess that's why friends among each other have different characters but they have common interests, but they are different individually. There are many friends who become really close and they look really alike, but I guess there are sure to be differences.

I know that being individual and to be unique would be essential to survive in the art school. But the constant brain storming for new stuff is really tiring, and when a crazy idea goes to plan, people outside the open-minded circumference would look at me with the "Are you out of your mind?" look. I guess I just have to settle down with what I am and what I believe in, but believe it or not, it changes as a person grows.

Sometimes I ask myself, what is my identity? What do people recognize me as? What are the things in me require a change?

Living at home in individual rooms is like living the life of the desperate housewives, where many secrets are kept within oneself and behind closed doors. But occasionally my dad's hormonal changes ranges to the peak, where he does things out of the ordinary out of a sudden, he was asking absurd questions again, however I shall not fill in the details.

He was trying to persuade me to chop off my hair, at EZ cut, or whatsoever. Who actually enters there to get their hair done? More like ruined.

Hair is a statement of identity, and it leaves an impression on everybody whether subconsciously or consciously. With just a glance upon a sea of people, it is usually the hair and the clothes that catch the eye. And even for trainees like us to be in the industry, we can easily spot the exquisite from the ordinary, what more can I say about the professionals.

I think that it is so predictable to get my dad's character on one of those European comedies like "little Britain", or "Everybody hates Chris".

During the Secondary school years he always says

"Oh! What have I done to deserve this?
None of us in the family observe such habits, but why?
Why does he observe them all?
He keeps his thinky long, he talks back, paints his nail black occasionally, now he is keeping his hair.
OMG! What am I going to do? What have I done to get this son?"

I picture art schools as asylums, a building of eccentric people who are out of the ordinary. People who look at things differently from people who try to bring new things into the world, to accentuate the looks of things.

But when they graduate, when they are out into the public, like fishes who are released from the aquarium. They are out to challenge themselves, out to challenge the society of the uniqueness.

It is difficult to survive as an artist or designer, they are neither blue nor white collared. Which gives them possibilities to land in both fields. To be successful and create a name for them or end up helping a blue collared which degrades them even more. And the fact is that not many actually becomes famous, and end up doing something they don't plan to be. Artist are risk takers, risks higher or equivalent to dare devils take. Sometimes I ask myself if I'm up to it.

Sometimes I would just look at myself in the virtual mirror and ask myself
"Am I up to it?" "Have I chosen the right route?"
But I guess no one can answer this question for me, not even myself, I just have got to wait for time to tell if I have done it right. Till then I will be the driving master of my life, it is only for the help of God and I that would actually destine my success or failure of life.

Met Paul Two hill...

2006-10-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

Alia, Paul,Paul's sis and bro.

Me, Paul,Paul's sis and bro. (Celebrities have their bad hair days too, Paul has fly away hair at his fore head too...)

Flipped hair me, disgusted Paul,Paul's sis and bro.

Omg... i guess i have insulted his famous move. Lalala.... whatever...

Vivo City

2006-10-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

It was last sat when it was Sarah's first month,Jasmine's daughter, which makes me a uncle. I can't imagine that i'm actually aging so quickly. Aniways after the lunch visitation my sis and i hopped into Uncle Kiong's car and he drove us to Vivo city. I would really wish to say sorry to those who are about to take part in a major exaM, COZ THESE MIGHT JUST BE A HUGE DISTRACTION. It was a very huge and marverlous place for shopping sprees, and i saw many things, so did i see many familiar people, church people... i shall not name who... hahaha. The photos below are the roof of Vivo, and it can view sentosa real nicely. The haze was real bad, thefore not pictures of that.I actually see Vivo as a threat, i have a weird feeling that Shubigi would send us there for some perspective drawing. The view is so nice and the interior was very nice, the whole place had major art pieces and marvelous structures.

Other then marvelous structures to see,we received many staring glances. It has been a regular thing to argue over who are they looking at.

Gracie: Do u realise that there are many glaces?Staring? I stepped out of the car and the people at the bus gave me a glare.
Joel: Yeah i know, they are mersmerised by you.Your dressing actually make you look like a model(Mo-dol... went about the conversation with a hongky slang) on the street...

Gracie: Izzit my dressing? A red hot pants with white top??
Joel: No nono... it's me, i am just too attractive that people have to give me a peep.

Gracie: I suspect it is us, we just look too a like...

All through the shopping trip we have been debating over who are stangers looking at. I guess i'm still curious, who are they staring at? And why?People gives us a "Hey i know u look" we give them a "Who are u? and what are u staring at look" and they just look away and pretend nothing happened....oh well, i guess we r just too irresistable.

(The pictures below was taken by Gracie Xiang)

Stressed up.

2006-10-03T23:18:00.000-07:00

Living day by day in a hollow shell, some what quite like a zombie, but a zombie that needs to possess creative skills when needed(quite frequently). i guess this is the real world, where countless tasks are given and expected to be done. I guess i have lost my myself in the process of participating in laselle. Sometimes i wonder if all this sacrificing is worth it, i feel that all my "free" time is either given to processing my projects, thinking of projects, and how can i relate to my projects, i think i have lost time for myself.

Attending laselle is somewhat a lifestyle now, rather then just a location where i get lessons. Compared to secondary school, where i would still have lots of time in the afternoon for roaming, tv and many other things.

Some how i feel that this is what celebrities are going through too, others view them as a icon of a idol or goddess. However they are just ordinary people behind the scenes, spending and paying their life to the show biz. Similarly i guess what i'm going through is just a fraction of reality, i wonder how am i to cope...Seriously speaking attending lessons are energy draining and it was never good for health to study, or should i just put a exeption... just for tertiary university lessons.I see myself scrunging up day by day, i think i won't need to diet and still slim down...Or was i too busy till i forgot to eat. Whichever the case i think i'm waiting for accessment to arrive, so that i will have my holidays to work on my weak areas and of course obtain sufficient rest.

Photoshoot

2006-09-26T21:26:00.000-07:00

The whole gang

Love at first sight

The hair spray is causing the itch! And i can't stop scratching.

Oh! Itchy...

Growing Intamacy

Hey! Dun dao me leh!

Okay! You dao me i dao u too...

Secret Engagement

Death

As you can see, we were doing a storyline behind the whole fashion show. And the story line was Romeo and Juliet. And i shall end off with this poem which i've found in Deviant.

A single daisy grows alone
Alone in a field
A field of ashes and sorrow
Sorrow filling the void
The void of stillness
Stillness broken
Broken by one butterfly
One butterfly flies across
Across the ashen plain
The plain heavy with sadness
Sadness and pain
Pain sliced by black wings
Wings of the butterfly
The butterfly draws near
Near the lonely daisy
The daisy feels such hope
Hope and joy
Joy from his deep roots
Roots to his pale petals
Petals reaching out
Out to the black butterfly
The butterfly approaches
Aproaches and kisses
Kisses the only daisy
The daisy overflows
Overflows in joy
In joy unimaginable
Unimaginable and never felt
Never felt before by the daisy
The daisy sheds a tear
A tear that would be his last
His last goodbye
Goodbye to this world
A world so cruel
Cruel and yet kind
Kind black butterfly kisses
Kisses of both joy and pain
Pain to a death
A death neverending

(Poem obtained from http://deathbutterfly.deviantart.com/)

Back stage preview of our Fashion Show...

2006-09-26T20:16:00.000-07:00

The makeup was freaky! They were topping it off with purple eyeshadows, eyeliners, mascara...... u name it, they probably got it all there.

My hair... There is a chuck of chair sticking out like a tweetty bird, the works of Nelly.Nelly helped me with the puffy kuff on the top and winston helped me with the styling.

Me, Ayuni(My photoshoot partner)and Nelly(My hair stylist).

Designer, Winston,(Practically worked the sewing machine) n I.

I can't belive i'am actually in thights... OMG...
The focal point is my back, it was patched worked with pockets.

Group pic

Ayuni and Nelly, taken during the shot of the huge group pic.

Class K, Sheila, Nelly, Brenna, Ayuni, Ben, Me and Angelyn.

Fashion designers from class K and R who helped the 2nd group of our intergrated programme(Fashion show).

Damn!I look like a freakin tranny...

Withdrawing myself.

2006-09-26T01:56:00.000-07:00

Actually... i wanted to do some bitchings, and hide it under the huge number of quizes. But come to think of it i should just save it for a better day...ahahahaz The quizes r really fun... you guys should try it...

Do i have type A Personality?

2006-09-26T01:54:00.000-07:00

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Am i Extensively Obsessive?

2006-09-26T01:47:00.000-07:00

You Are 24% Obsessive

You tend to have a few obsessive thoughts, but you generally have them under control.
Sometimes your worries keep you up at night, though they usually don't interfere with your life.

How Obsessive Are You?

Omg... I am a little...
Omg... I've done these quizes "obsessively"... i need to get help...omg...

Sociopathic?

2006-09-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

You Are 40% Sociopath

From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good.
It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!

Are You A Sociopath?

What is my EQ?

2006-09-26T01:38:00.000-07:00

Your EQ is 107

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Hmmm... Average... not bad not bad...

How Irish am I?

2006-09-26T01:29:00.000-07:00

You're 45% Irish

You're probably less Irish than you think you are...
But you're still more Irish than most.

How Irish Are You?

Whih latin American country should i visit?...

2006-09-26T01:26:00.000-07:00

You Should Visit Mexico

You can be as comfortable as you want, eating fast food and partying with English speakers in resort town.
But if you're feeling brave, venture out to Mexico City - or explore the tropical Yucatan.

What Latin American Country Should You Visit?

So how brutally honest am i?

2006-09-26T01:19:00.000-07:00

You Are 56% Brutally Honest

Honesty is important to you, but generally, you try not to be brutal about it.
You'll sugar coat the truth when you need to... and tell a white lie when necessary.

How Brutally Honest Are You?

What does my sleeping position say abt me?

2006-09-26T01:15:00.000-07:00

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Am i gentlemanly?

2006-09-26T01:14:00.000-07:00

You Are 68% Gentleman

You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners.
Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices!

Are You A Gentleman?

So... Am i VAIN?

2006-09-26T01:07:00.000-07:00

You Are 51% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence.
Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

Ok... this is evidence to say that there r more people who r more vain then me...=j

What is my element?

2006-09-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.
And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.

Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.
You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.

You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.
With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

What do people see in me?

2006-09-26T00:56:00.000-07:00

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Am i such a perfectionist? i guess there r stuff i do in spur of the momment, or should i say many stuff-s.

What sort of artist would i be?

2006-09-26T00:51:00.000-07:00

You Should Be Fashion Designer

Although you're offbeat and artistic, you have a good eye for trends
You can figure out new incredible clothes to create... that will sell well!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

Never thought that the answer would be what im actually studying... hmmm...

Am i a drama king?

2006-09-26T00:48:00.000-07:00

You Are As Cool As They Come

Rational and relaxed, no one could accuse you of being dramatic.
You roll with the punches, and nothing ever gets you too worked up.
You are able to maintain perspective and see the big picture.

And even if you're emotional inside, you don't let it show.
You're great at keeping it together, and you're rewarded for that.
People see you as an ideal friend, employee, and partner.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

3 question personality test...

2006-09-26T00:45:00.000-07:00

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

How much am i worth?

2006-09-26T00:18:00.000-07:00

Your Life Is Worth...

$875,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

Not intending to sell myself afterall... Whatever...

Faces

2006-09-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

(Picture obtained from http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40266046/)

Now that my theme at school is "self", I was forced to read Roland Barthes's writing and I find that it was really inspiring.

"Now, once I feel myself observed by the lens, everything changes: I constitute myself in the process of 'posing', I instantaneously make another body for myself, I transform myself in advance into an image."-Roland Barthes

He was writing about how he, or should I say everyone in majority, would become a different person infront of the camera. It is really true on how people actually look so different on lens and real life. For example if you don't believe me, a person might be used to slouching on a chair whenever that person seats on one, but very miraculously when a camera comes in, it is a instant reaction to seat upright and appear really poised.

I guess the whole reaction boils right down to impression and reputation. A picture is a freezed frame of a time which can never be obtained ever again even if it was a second later. And if a subject were to appear really un-glam, it would be recorded in that picture forever.

So the question to ask oneself is' Are we trying to be what we arn't?' 'Or are we actually are what we really are?'

So what if there are no cameras around, everyone's eyes are little windows to memories to be kept for a long long time.

Finally

2006-09-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

1/2 semester has passed and another to go. The 'toys' theme has driven me up the wall and now it's the time for me to take a quick grasp of breath before I become breathless with the theme 'self' again. I dunno why, but I guess laselle is like the fruit in the garden of Eden, the fruit of the good and evil.

After the o levels I was given a choice to choose whether to go to ITE/army or Laselle. I guess the first choice was out of the question, which actually signifies the fruit of life, what a bad representation, but heck it. I chose the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil.

The route to Laselle was a adventurous one, getting to know many people and even more knowledge, but most importantly my mind has been opened. I realized that things can be looked in 2 different perspectives, looked at the way it is or what it seems to be to you. I find it very ironic, the 2D, contextual... Teacher always asks us to look at things and ask ourselves what does the subject seem to you when you look at it. But our internal and external teacher always asks us to draw things the way it is and not what you think it is. Well I think they are a mixture of fine arts and design, which actually defines the good and evil of the fruit. Well I guess I will start out lots of argument of which is evil or which is good, I will leave it up for you to decide as it is just a metaphor used.

I feel that ever since the 7 months break plus the intruding of laselle has changed me, changed my character to another person. I have realised that when people asks for my point of view i will tend to be a critque and notice the every detail i can find and tries to correct them, call me a perfectionist, but if i am not, there won't be improvements.

I guess i aint a quiet guy anymore... was i ever quiet? But nevermind... I tend to think out loud nowadays and say my views more openly. Many people just cannot stand my criques or should i say bitchings as they are kind of pointing at a specific point of a subject, very hurtful.Anyway it's my mouth and it's your head to think if i'am right.

Talking about bitchings, have i always been bitching? or have i started bitching? I dun remember bitching in pri.1. I just saw myself as a boy who was pushed about in other's clutches. My sister says that it's part of growing up.Oh well, i guess that currently im in laselle and that i am showing off more of myself, more of the character i have kept in me and have not let out in the pass years. It's really suprising that i tend to restrain my crazy self to the church friends which i usually do. Maybe i'm learning more and more about myself each day and shall write up another post as i find out more.

Pictures of uncle Kiong's house warming at Mt faber...

2006-09-13T22:25:00.001-07:00

Desert advert.

Mmmm... Tastes nice and makes you laugh...

...and a little drunk...

Apparel activity

2006-09-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Wow! I feel so energized. I can still feel the excitement of my heart thumping very quickly. The fashion show was yesterday and it feels as if everything just started. It was a Friday where my contextual lesson was a beginning of a apparel activity. We were all sitted at the auditorium and we are being selected by the 2nd and 1st level students. I don't know if it is because I am sitted at the last row or am I really bad looking, but I was among the batch of "unselected". Since no one wants us, we have to attatch our selves among one of the available groups. I was quite lucky to get myself with the other classmates of mine, like Nelly, Brenna, Ben, Angelyn, Sheila and many others.

We went to the back alley of the school to start brainstorming under the theme retro and using old clothes and materials we intend to discard. I came up with the idea of using monochromic colours, from the idea of the monochrome TV. Then Brenna was thinking of using old uniforms, and Nelly thought that we should use a fairy tale or a famous novel as the spine to hold up our idea.

They planned to meet up on the next day, which was a Saturday to work the suits out. Damn! I had to go to church! Actually I was thinking to myself why do I want to go to church as there is no spiritual life in me, dazes in mid air when the pastor is talking, and does nothing after lunch? In fact the main motive of going to church is to have a fabulous lunch, "socialize" or should I say fellowship with the friends around and that is it. I feel that I should just go to school that sat afternoon and work the suit out.

Actually on Saturday itself I did not regret going to church, as I met Angeline. Yup! Angeline from primary school to secondary 3. That Angeline who went to wala wala college. I saw that girl and I was overjoyed, I did not expect to see her in Jurong and it was so coincidental that it was her last week in S'pore before she leaves for US again. It was a very quick 5min chat, but I guess it worths more then gold.

On Monday, I met up with Brenna as she is currently living in Sembawang. Anyways the first question she asked was what was my waist line. I told her that it was about 27 but all my pants are around 29-30... She wants me to be her model for her group. Man! She told me that all the guys who are slim are already taken, and I am the only one who can help her. She showed me a pair of tights and 'OMG!' I have to wear that around? Not knowing how the top looks like I was declining the request persistently.

When I finally got to see the top, it looks really flamboyant. It looks like those flamingo guys with lots of fluffy materials all over. Tried really hard to fit myself into the top, it felt really heavy and very hot. Jane, the group leader, came and looked at it for a while and she suggests that we should abandon this shirt and work another out. At this point of time I felt kind of happy, yet sad. Happy because luckily I did not come on Saturday, as all the efforts would have gone to waste. However at the same time, it could be my fault that the shirt turned out this way, as if I were there situation might just be better.

anyways we went to grab more materials from the room, and started to sew denim pockets together as patch work. We used a cut off sweater which looks like a caplet and sewed pockets in a formation of a trench coat. And it was the photoshoot day, the whole theme for us was a romeo and Juliet with a tinge of retro. And everyone was with real thick eye shadow and liners. The top was done last minute on a mannequin, when it came onto me it was really huge and lots of correction has to be done. So makeup was done on me while Brenna, Angelyn and Winston sews the top onto me. It was as if it was project run way in real life.

The most awkward situation was that I'm paired with Ayuni, and we are in the stage of where interaction was taking place. She had to be on the table and I was on the chair and a shoot of us looking at each other's eyes, that was the hardest. There were many times where we just bursted out laughing. The other scene was both of us standing by the tree with the touching of the hands thingy going on. We were talking with our lips in a smiley position like what actors and actresses always do in photoshoots.

Ayuni:"I'am so not going to let my parrents see me this way...I so need to blog this down, are u?"
Me:"Yeah I really need to get this jot down..."

The highlight was not just there, on Tuesday was the runway day. Going to school was a mad rush, waiting for my suit to arrive as the seams broke after the photo shoot. Run around to get the same hairdo and make up on, got my nails painted to get into the whole gothic theme. And it was exactly 3pm where the fashion show begins, our group was the first to walk down the run way, one of the lecturer was rushing us from the back. There was no practice for the walk, and everything went chaotic.

It was really fun but the removal of the makeup was the most difficult, they used the ultra long mascara on me as I have no lashes and it was waterproof. The eyeliner was scratched into my lids, but oh well everyone has to pay a price to get such treatment. It was very common for people to lose stuff on a fashion show, like one of the guys lost a scarf, i lost 5 bucks as I payed 10 bucks for a zinger meal which I could not eat because of the photoshoot. Oh well I just feel so happy after the runway, just like ever lasting adrenaline rushing through my veins.

Stress

2006-09-03T23:42:00.001-07:00

Life in campus is really stressful, slept at about 3 or 4 on sun morning spending time with my doll. I had to return to school on a Sunday. Entered the computer lab at 2plus, and never saw the sun ever again(that day). And it was so careless of me to bring my camera, but not the USB port. Really hate myself for being not merticulous when stressed.

I had to use the cam on the computer to snap my pictures, pictures of the doll's head. I could not complete my voodoo doll. Such a small doll, 6.5 cm head, 20cm tall, but the head and body took 3 days. And it is just the upper torso, her arms and tighs are not formed...

Last night when i came back from the lab it was already 12. Conitnued with the doll, and till now i have not slept. I guess i will soon becoming to look like my doll, zombie like. I can see dark rings developing, my hair is about there, soon it would be the detaching.

When i first entered laselle, photo shop seems to be a stranger to me. And for the Computer lab workshop, it has became a working tool. Now i guess photoshop has to be a part of me, as we need it all the time.

Sigh so tired... i shall upload my picture with my doll head to show how look alike we are.

Cloth collage

2006-08-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

Ain't this a fabulous collage? This is a french maid collage which i feel looks really good...
(Above pic gotten from http://erin69.deviantart.com)

Stress...

2006-08-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

Argh... i have no time to eat and sleep and of corse no time to blog... Anyway i found this really funny picture listing things about goth as i was researching for voodoo dolls...

i have to do my presentation next monday about a toy, which i have chosen a voodoo doll. I have to make the doll, take pictures about it, and write about it, and on top of it all create a little booklet about it... damn! This is what happens when ideas comes in late...Aniways enough of taking a breath, now it's back to researching again...

(Pic gotten from http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/a/t/atl126/goth.gif)

My OFF day...

2006-08-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

I feel so drained, feel so tired. How can i get out of what i am in now?
I can see my life crumbling down, day by day i get skinnier and just crumble down with bones one day...
Sorry but i guess this entry is going to be a complain post.
I have to write a 200 word long essay(proposal) with pictures and i have no idea what to do... It is already 0950, and my class is at 1100. What should i do?
I rushed out of my house at 0805 this morning, dress with a greeny striped top, a 3 1/4 jeans, and my high cut converse shoes... i look really weird, but the colour match tho... but that is not the point...
I'm still real confused with my ideas...

Line dancing

2006-08-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

It was many many weeks ago when Sylvia and i met up in Toapayoh, and we saw that the whole toapayoh hub was filled with old man and old ladys, dressed in a poseor like manner. i was bitching out loud and followed their exagerated movement, when Sylvia tried very hard to pull me aside.They were trying to mimic the cow boy and cow girls in the olden times, maybe it was one of their dreams to set up a ranch here in s'pore and they havn't had the chance to. They were blasting loud music on that boom box, and what they do was to move with small little steps up and down in a line. I just couldn't take it when there was this lady in sequins, her hat was shiny and so was her dress. She looked perfect for a getai stage, as she was doing huge exagerated movements just like a ballard dancer, but incorporated in her line dancing foot steps.

Well it's true that they are already really old and that it would be a great activity to participate in for social and physical purposes, but i just feel very disgusted by their dresses and dance steps.

Picture and inspiration to bitch obtained from http://qinnypei.blogspot.com/2006/08/magnificent.html

FWD of a real nice story

2006-08-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

As I sat there in English class, I
stared at the girl next to me.She was my so-called "best friend". I stared
at her long, silky hair. I wished she were mine, but
she didn't notice me like that.And I knew it. After
class she walked up to me and asked me for the
notes she had missed the day before, and I handed
them to her.She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the
cheek. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know
that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm
just too shy. And I don't know why.

11th Grade

The phone rang. It was her on the other end. Shewas in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next
to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing
she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to
sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks," and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends. I love her,
but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.

12th Grade

The day before prom she walked to my
locker. "My date is sick," she said. He's not going to go. Well,
I didn't have a date and in 7th grade we made a
promise that if neither of us had dates we would
go together just as "best friends," so we did. Prom
night after everything was over I was standing at her
front door step. I stared at her. She smiled at me and
stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to
be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I
know it.Then she said, "I had the best time,thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I
want her to know that I don't want to be just friends.
I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

Graduation Day

A day passed. A week passed. A month passed.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I
watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on
stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before
everyone went home, she came to me in her
smock and hat, and she cried as I hugged her. Then, she
lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "You're
my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the
cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I
don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too
shy.And I don't know whyâ€¦

A Few Years Later

Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is gettin
married,now. I watched her say, "I do" and drive
off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted
her to be mine but she didn't see me like that, and I
knew it.But before she drove away, she came to me
and said, "You came!" She said, "thanks!" and kissed
me on the cheek.I want to tell her. I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but
I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

Funeral

Yrs passed, and I looked down at the coffin of the
girl who used to be my best friend." At the service
they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high
school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing
he were mine. But he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends. I love him, but I'm
just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me
he loved me!i wish I did too!i thought to myself,
and I cried.

I just hope that this won't happen to me, it is like "What?? You mean we actually like each other and just that we are shy it did not work out?"

Photoshop madness

2006-08-20T23:22:00.000-07:00

It's been exactly 10 days when I really posted a real posting, all thanks to my photoshop project that sucked up all my leisure. Campus life has been very hectic as I end my days in the evening, which resulted for me to rush my projects in the night. My PPD(Personal/professional development) lecturer once told us that she visits orchard only once a year, and the whole class laughed at her, but it seems to make sense now. Projects come everyday and they are due in 7days, and if I don't do them, they would just be a add on to stress when the day of judgement(assessment).

I feel that the idea of "It is okay if you don't know how to draw( or do things),the lecturer would guide you.", i feel that it is really wrong. As when i am met with a problem i must solve it on my own.Don't know how to draw? Try and error with the pencil till you get the shape you want. Don't know how to find things? Search it out on your own, they say that it is their new way of teaching, they feel that when a student search it out on their own they would learn better. I feel that as if we are in the beginner's swimming lesson where the instructors just waves their hands on land to teach us the swimming strokes, and throws us into the 1.8m pool to force us to swim, only those tallest and have some experience in swimming survives.

My photoshop project is now over, and there are plenty more projects comming up, i don't know if i can cope with the fast paced incoming projects.Oh well, lets take a step at a time...